In 2002 we ran away from Illinois where we were born and raised, and started a new life in SW Florida. This blog is about me (an eccentric old artist), ROM (my Real Old Man), Isabella (our neurotic Standard Poodle) and Emmy (our crazy snake killing Jack Russell Terrier). Oh- and the neighborhood old people. Life is good in Florida!


Thursday, December 2, 2010

The Most Dangerous Species in Florida...

We often hear about alligators attacking pets and people in Florida, and even angry otters attacks. There are also occasional stories about black bears lurking in people's back yards and shark attacks along the Gulf beaches. And of course every year there are reports about people being bit by poisonous snakes. But we hear very little about the most dangerous creatures we have to dodge every time we get on the roadway.... old farts that have no business behind the wheel of a car!

This gentleman lives down the street from me. He's kept alive with one of those implanted pacemaker/defibrillator thingies. Every afternoon he walks down the street to the corner using his oxygen cart. He can only go about 125 feet before having to sit down and rest. He'll sit there about 10 minutes, then get up and shuffle the 125 feet back to his front door. But it's not him and his oxygen cart in the street that scare me...

What scares me is that every night at 7 o'clock he puts on his cowboy boots, his big ol' cowboy hat, gets in his SUV and drives to work! (He works as a security guard- stop laughing- he really does!) The fact that someone who is on constant oxygen, can't walk more than 125 feet and is kept alive with an implanted pacemaker/defibrillator device is driving scares the living shit out of me!  We've got MADD (Moms Against Drunk Driving) and I think we also need an organisation to keep Old Fucks Off the Road! 

And since it's so chilly today in SW Florida, I'm going out on the patio, sip some coffee with a generous dollop of Bailey's and I won't be driving...


  1. I can't believe this man works as a security guard! He looks like you could knock him over with a feather.

    I had to take my father's car away from him, he's very confused and physically weak, especially in his legs. He is in assisted living, and a few of the resident's where he lives still drive, One of them almost ran me over the other day when I was visiting. I think once you hit a certain age it should be mandatory that you get retested every single year. Old confused drivers can be real threat.

  2. I agree- there comes a time it just isn't safe for oneself or for others on the road. More frequent screenings for license renewals is needed.


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