In 2002 we ran away from Illinois where we were born and raised, and started a new life in SW Florida. This blog is about me (an eccentric old artist), ROM (my Real Old Man), Isabella (our neurotic Standard Poodle) and Emmy (our crazy snake killing Jack Russell Terrier). Oh- and the neighborhood old people. Life is good in Florida!

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Sunday, December 12, 2010

Pretty Lights, Sandman, and Why Are Your Pants Down?

When we got home tonight, from yet another party, this is the view out one of my windows. Looks so pretty to look outside and see lights softly twinkling in the dark night. We have lots of lights, a wicker sleigh, wicker deer and more lights- and that's just the view from inside the house. There are lots of lights on the house, too.

I felt kind of bad about Seaside Santa sitting inside all by himself, so I started creating a sandman earlier today. One thing I will never have is a snowman decoration. Every old fart around here have a variety of  snowmen decorations, even the big inflatable ones- which is just ridiculous. Snowmen in Florida? Get out!  So I started making sandmen last year, but gave them all away..


But I still have this tub of sterilized sand I brought home last year from one of Anna Maria Island beaches. Soon I'll have a Anna Mari Island sandman to keep old Seaside Santa company - until the holidays are over and he reverts back to the Old Salt.


As soon as we got home tonight, we peeled out of our clothes and got into our comfy and warm flannels. Damn, it's still so freaking cold. We've had the heat on all week which I hate because it dries the air out so bad. I end up with fly away hair and our clothes have static electricity. Which led to this scene a half hour ago....

I walked into the living room and there was Real Old Man standing in front of the TV with his flannel pants down around his ankles. He was standing there watching TV and vigorously rubbing his legs. Being the curious person I am, I had to ask him what in the hell he was doing. That led to the following exchange....

Me- OMG! I wish I had my camera ready

ROM- Why?

Me- Because I would have taken your picture just now with your pants down.

ROM- Why in the hell would you take a picture of that?
Me- I could have posted it on Twitter and told them that you pull your pants down every few minutes and make me say nice things about your wanger.

ROM- Why in the hell would you do that?

Me-  It would be frigging hilarious!

ROM-  But I had my underwear on and wasn't showing my wanger.

Me- Wouldn't matter- it'd still be a hoot.
A few minutes later....

ROM- You would never take a photo like that and post it on Twitter would you? Or ever say I made you look at my wanger?

Me- I'd blur your face and wanger
ROM- Stop saying that! I was not showing my wanger. And I have never asked you to look at my wanger! My flannel pants have static electricity and I was just putting lotion on my legs so my pants wouldn't cling. Which I wouldn't have to do if you used dryer sheets. So it's your fault... 

11 comments:

  1. LMAO!!! I read this with my first cup of joe this morning. The exchange between you and ROM is hilarious. He must sleep with one eye open, fearful of you and your camera,poor thing! At his age he shouldn't have to worry about his wanger being exposed. He'll probably be stocking up on dryer sheets.

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  2. You are just so frigging funny. Forget about that rh stuff and just write about you. You are much more interesting and comical than any reality show. I love everything about your blog from the recipes to photos, and most of all your conversations. Maybe Santa will bring ROM some dryer sheets.

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  3. I can't stop laughing! You are so damn funny

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  4. You are a hoot, woman! Love those pretty lights, looks very cheery. Tell ROM to keep his pants up today

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  5. OMG.. I love to torture Mr Man as well!!
    yesterday he made a cake.. (yep you read that right) and then he went out for errands. I went into the kitchen and tried to cut a piece but nearly murdered it and just decided to pinch a peice off the slice.

    Mr Man came home and stares at the cake. I come in the kitchen and he said.. did the dog try and eat the cake? I said why? He said looked like someone mangled the cake! I said. no. He didnt attack the cake.. I then asked.. did you throw the piece away? he said, no. I ate it. I screamed Oh chit!! I wasnt going to tell you the dog bit a chunk because you would be mad!!

    His face was priceless
    lmaooo I let him think that for an hour.. I DIE!

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  6. I wish we could get a live feed of you and your real old man. You two would probably be watched more any reality show on tv. I hope my husband and I are like you two when we get older.

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  7. I agree with the last comment- I want to be you and rom when I get old. You two seem to have so much fun together. You were a match made in heaven.

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  8. Has ROM kept his pants on today?

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  9. I can't stop laughing! Between you and @Imajustsaying, I die!

    Love the holiday lights too :-)

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  10. Just wanted to let you know Real Old Man has been keeping his pants on- it's too frigging cold in Florida right now to go pantless-LOL

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  11. This sounds like a conversation I've had with my "old man". I am always teasing him about snapping a picture.

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