I felt kind of bad about Seaside Santa sitting inside all by himself, so I started creating a sandman earlier today. One thing I will never have is a snowman decoration. Every old fart around here have a variety of snowmen decorations, even the big inflatable ones- which is just ridiculous. Snowmen in Florida? Get out! So I started making sandmen last year, but gave them all away..
But I still have this tub of sterilized sand I brought home last year from one of Anna Maria Island beaches. Soon I'll have a Anna Mari Island sandman to keep old Seaside Santa company - until the holidays are over and he reverts back to the Old Salt.
As soon as we got home tonight, we peeled out of our clothes and got into our comfy and warm flannels. Damn, it's still so freaking cold. We've had the heat on all week which I hate because it dries the air out so bad. I end up with fly away hair and our clothes have static electricity. Which led to this scene a half hour ago....
I walked into the living room and there was Real Old Man standing in front of the TV with his flannel pants down around his ankles. He was standing there watching TV and vigorously rubbing his legs. Being the curious person I am, I had to ask him what in the hell he was doing. That led to the following exchange....
Me- OMG! I wish I had my camera ready
Me- Because I would have taken your picture just now with your pants down.
ROM- Why in the hell would you take a picture of that?
Me- I could have posted it on Twitter and told them that you pull your pants down every few minutes and make me say nice things about your wanger.
ROM- Why in the hell would you do that?
Me- It would be frigging hilarious!
ROM- But I had my underwear on and wasn't showing my wanger.
Me- Wouldn't matter- it'd still be a hoot.
A few minutes later....
ROM- You would never take a photo like that and post it on Twitter would you? Or ever say I made you look at my wanger?
Me- I'd blur your face and wanger
ROM- Stop saying that! I was not showing my wanger. And I have never asked you to look at my wanger! My flannel pants have static electricity and I was just putting lotion on my legs so my pants wouldn't cling. Which I wouldn't have to do if you used dryer sheets. So it's your fault...