In 2002 we ran away from Illinois where we were born and raised, and started a new life in SW Florida. This blog is about me (an eccentric old artist), ROM (my Real Old Man), Isabella (our neurotic Standard Poodle) and Emmy (our crazy snake killing Jack Russell Terrier). Oh- and the neighborhood old people. Life is good in Florida!


Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Heartbroken and Mourning An Old Friend...

It all started so innocently... Real Old Man and I were discussing how annoying it was that when someone called us on our cell phones they were frequently taken directly to voice mail and we were often not even notified that we had voice mail until several days later. I seldom talk on the phone so it didn't really matter to me all that much, I prefer e-mails to phone calls anyway.  I had absolutely no desire for a smart phone as I have two cameras, a Flip, desktop computer and a laptop that enable me to do everything I want to do. (Yes, the laptop is finally out of the box and in use- love it now that I have a mouse for it. In fact, I'm sitting on the lanai writing this). ROM uses his phone frequently for work so I encouraged him to upgrade to a smart phone. Due to the type of work he does, having a phone that could take photos and record video would be useful for him. He researched smart phones online and he even got on my Twitter account to ask people about their BlackBerry phones. Oh, and a side note- RHODC Lynda Erkiletian's boyfriend, the ever so handsome Ebong Eka even responded to our questions. What a friendly and down to earth guy! You can follow him on Twitter here. (Oh- and ROM has his own Twitter account now)  By the end of the day, ROM decided he wanted a BlackBerry and because our phone service is through Sprint, the next day he visited the local Sprint store to see about purchasing one through them.

When he came back from his visit to the Sprint store without a phone, I was surprised as I thought he had decided on what model hew wanted and was ready to buy it. Curious, I asked him why he didn't come home with a phone and he gave me some lame and vague reply about wanting to think about the various BB models  and plans offered. And this was the beginning of him slickly sucking me onto the evil treacherous highway and dark murky back alleys of the Blackberry underworld.

Being the good wife that I am, I asked about the plans offered in hopes that I could help him decide which plan would be best for him. And that's exactly what he wanted me to do, the bastard. He rambled on about the different options for awhile and then he threw out the bait. Quite innocently he mentions the sales rep offered him an amazing plan- he could buy a BlackBerry for under $100 with a generous monthly plan that was only a few more dollars than we're paying now- and get this- the deal included a 2nd free Blackberry.  Even though I had no desire for a smart phone, when he said "free" my ears perked up. Who doesn't like free things? Free things are good, right? Hell, if the phone is free I'd be an idiot to turn it down, wouldn't I? Acting very nonchalant, ROM suggested I go back to the Sprint store with him the next day to look at the BlackBerries. 

The next day we as we got ready to go to the Sprint store and ROM told me to take my old phone with me because if I decided to switch to a BlackBerry, the sales rep could switch all my contacts from my old phone to the new one. Oh, it all sounded so easy! I was actually kind of getting into the idea of having a smart phone. The price was right- free. And if all I did was use it to call someone occasionally, that was fine. (I've never been impressed with the quality of the photos taken with  smart phones). So anyway, we get to the store and I had my vintage phone in hand. 

ROM took me right to the display of BBs and points out one that came in a pinkish purple color- oh, it was so cute! I was already visualizing the cute little fabric beaded case I could make for it. The same sales rep ROM talked to the day before was assisting us and in the excitement of the moment it didn't hit me until later that I'd been set up. The rep was assuring me that by the time I left the store I'd know how to use this pretty little pink phone, and he mentioned that he knew I didn't like change and had been frustrated with my first attempts to use my new laptop. Evidently he and ROM had been talking about me the day before and setting their trap...hmmmm... Before I could process his comment and realize I had been set up, he mentioned that he knew I liked Twitter and began showing me how I could tweet from my BB.

Next thing I know he's taking the SIMS card out of my vintage phone and using it to set up my pretty new pink BlackBerry. He's rambling on showing me how to push this button to do this, that button to do that, press here for this, push here to go back, and there to go forward. He even has me send a tweet out to experience how easy it is. Cool! He hands me my new phone and says all my contacts from my old phone have been transferred to my new phone and I'm good to go. Wow- that was easy!

So we get home with our new Blackberries, and like a kids with a new toy we sit down down to play with them. The first thing I attempted to do was to set the correct time, but after fifteen minutes of clicking here and here and here, the time on mine still wasn't right. Grrr... It wasn't near as easy as it had looked when the sales rep was pushing the buttons and zooming around on it. I was getting very irritated. So I decided to leave that be for the moment and see if my voice mail was set up the way I wanted. Evidently I needed to record a new outgoing message, but didn't get any farther with that than I did with setting the time. Then I checked to see if all my phone contacts were on my new phone- like the sales rep told they'd be. Nope, no phone contacts. I kept getting the list of my e-mail contacts. By this time I was so done with this father fucking, ugly ass  BlackBerry! I hated that bitch now, how in the hell had I ever thought she was cute?
(See the time? Not even close to what time it was when I took this photo)
I was done- I stuck the bitch back in the box, the box back in the bag, and threw it all into the umbrella crock by the door while informing ROM he could take it back, throw it away, or shove it up his ass. Didn't matter to me, but under no circumstances was I touching that putrid BB bitch again. And he was never, ever for any reason to mention BB to me again. 

I was going back to my old vintage friend. Yes, she didn't do very many things but at least I knew how to use her. So what if she didn't let me know right away if I had messages, at least I could figure out which button to push when she did tell me I had one. And then I discovered that my beloved vintage phone had been deactivated! The sales rep had sucked her soul out and left her an empty shell. But please note that even deactivated, my beloved old friend can still tell time, bless her heart-  unlike that gaudy flashy little pink tricked out bitch.

ROM has tried to talk to me a couple of times about that horrid little phone, but I cover my ears and scream "lalalalala....lalalala I can't hear you!". Over and over again until he shuts up. I do the same thing every time I walk past the umbrella crock and I hear the bitch beeping at me.

On a more pleasant note, I'll leave you with photos of my xmas cacti. Click each photo to see full size.

I love the gold one with it's bright fuschia colored centers.. 

The red with the white on the inside of the petals and bright red center.

                               And the white with it's pink accents.

Oh- and don't bother trying to call me. I'm only available by e-mail now days....


  1. Your cacti are absolutely gorgeous!! I am green with envy.

    As for the phone, I am dreading changing our phones this year. I've told my husband that this is the last change I will make so this one has to last forever. But, I dislike the one I have now so I figured, there's at least a chance I'll wind up with one I like better.

    You do have a landline, right? :)

  2. NoBobbi, we didn't have a landline put in when we moved here. Just relied on our cell phones. Oh, and I take no credit for the xmas cacti- they thrive on neglect and do it all on their own.

  3. good for you! no swimming in the blackberry pond for you! stand your ground! i'm proud of you!

  4. OMG ROH.. that is TFF!! I am on my second BB since I keep handing it off to a kid who keeps breaking his phone!

    I have no use for this thing what so ever!! I cant seem to operate mine either and I became exasperated. My daughter gave me her phone to replace what my son stole she she upgraded to a .. a.. I cant remember the name of the service or super dee duper phone she has now.. and still, my son stole that one too.

    I would rather use my laptop for EVERYTHING!!!

    I could not, would not, BB a house.
    I would not, could not, BB a mouse.
    I would not BB them with a fox.
    I would not BB them in a box.
    I would not BB them here or there.
    I would not BB them anywhere.
    I would not BB green eggs and ham.
    I do not like BB, Sam-I-am.

    P.S. If you ADAturd steals my new rhyme, I will hunt you down like the animal you are!!

  5. Hey Jayedee- I'm just bitter because I'm not smart enough to figure out the Blackberry-LOL

    IJS- And I thought I was doing so well keeping up with technology- only to be thwarted by a damn phone and forced to scream Uncle!

  6. We have a LG Rumor. We went with the easiest, free model that will let us answer the phone and text with a slide out keyboard. Nothing else. Even though it CAN do internet, we have it blocked. We have iPods Touch's and PC/Laptops for that stuff. We are getting old. lol

    Our contract is up in May and I don't want to have to change to another phone, but know I will have to just because of technology.

  7. You old hag, your to old and senile to have a phone and no one would want to talk to you anyway.


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