In 2002 we ran away from Illinois where we were born and raised, and started a new life in SW Florida. This blog is about me (an eccentric old artist), ROM (my Real Old Man), Isabella (our neurotic Standard Poodle) and Emmy (our crazy snake killing Jack Russell Terrier). Oh- and the neighborhood old people. Life is good in Florida!


Wednesday, March 23, 2011

All We Needed Was a Psychic With an Electronic Cigarette...

I told most of this story in bits and pieces on Twitter but I promised SweeetBea   MalibuEve  and LuvToLoveU  that I'd write the whole thing out and include an update.

We attended what turned out to be a memorable dinner party over the weekend. It was only the second time we'd been to this couple's home and I don't actually know them well. We're friends of a couple who are close friends to them and that's how we were included. The times we've been around this couple they've been very pleasant.  Here's how I told the story on Twitter:

Sweet jezzuz- what a crazy night. The hostess confronted her husband about cheating right in the middle of dinner. Talk about uncomfortable

Somebody complimented her on how nice the house looked, she said "Not only is my housekeeper great at cleaning"...continued

Continued: "She's also great at fucking my husband". We all about died!

And he didn't know until that moment that his wife knew about his affair.

He was speechless first, then tried to calm her down saying they'd discuss it later. But there was no shutting her up.

When she spit that out there was dead silence, forks suspended in mid air, and mouths agape

We all just sat there in shocked silence. No one knew what to do. He tried to calm her down, but she kept drinking and got weepy. 

By the time we left she was smashed and weepy

Actually they aren't "close" friends of ours. We're friends of a couple they are close to. Only 2nd time I've been to their home

I stayed out of it, just listened and nodded occasionally

I just kept eating

You should have seen her husband's face- he didn't know she knew until that moment

You won't believe what first made her suspicious- his Viagra was disappearing faster than it should have!!!!! 

She said pharmacy phoned her 2 tell her refill was ready for pick up, she knew they hadn't done it enough times 2 need refill

She watched the house on the cleaning lady's day and saw her husband come home,

Not a live in housekeeper, a cleaning lady that comes in twice a week

All I know is she saw hubby coming home on day cleaning lady was there.What made her suspicious of the cleaning lady, I don't now

I'll have to call one of the gals and see what's going on

My tweet buddies wanted more details so I promised them I'd call my friend who is close to the dinner party hostess- let's call her Jane. So here's the skinny... Jane discovered the cheating right before Thanksgiving. Around the same time that the pharmacy called her about the Viagra refill being ready for pick up, a neighbor asked if her husband was ill. It seems the neighbor had noticed hubby had come home in the afternoon twice that week and thought maybe he was sick. Jane knew hubby hadn't been sick and hadn't mentioned to her that he'd been going home in the afternoons so that made her suspicious. For the next few weeks, she parked down the street and watched the house on the afternoons the cleaning lady was scheduled to be there, and sure enough she saw her husband coming home on those days, staying a couple hours and then going back to work.

What I found to be so strange is that she let it go on and didn't say anything until last weekend at the dinner party! Jane told my friend that what set her off was that shortly before we all arrived her husband had told her they had to postpone the cruise they had been planning. He told her he couldn't get away from work, but she knew he'd had no problem getting away from work two afternoons a week for months. And that was the catalyst for the outburst at the dinner party. My friend said they are still together, considering couples therapy and the cleaning lady has been fired.  What I want to know is why two adults with no kids at home need a cleaning lady twice a week? Damn, they must be messy!


  1. I want to know who fired the cleaning lady and what was the reason given! LOL!

    What a mess. Sounds as if she had decided to go along with this until it actually affected her lifestyle. I hope they can work it out and be happy. I hate seeing marriages break up.

    But, if I were Jane, Dick would be out the door before he knew what hit him! (At least until I calmed down and could be rational.)

    Keep us posted if you hear more, ok?

  2. Bobbi- I didn't think to ask who did the firing-LOL Yes, it sounded like she would have put up with the cheating and kept quiet if he'd taken that cruise with her- crazy.I can't imagine putting up with ROM cheating- and in my own home!

  3. Dayum! Y'all have some wicked dinner parties.

    Maybe Jane cared more about having an ace up her sleeve for leverage at some point. Maybe she was bored with him, as well, and was fascinated to find out he could do something unexpected like that. Or maybe she didn't want to lose the maid--good help is hard to find.

    I'm with you, though, ROH. Except I have said before if hubs has an affair, don't forget to take his laundry. Now if the ho was willing to clean my house in the bargain...hmmm.

    Changed my vote: Jane wanted to keep the maid. ;-)

  4. WhiteTrashGal- That was the most dramatic dinner party I've ever been to in my life! It certainly kept my attention. I wonder if Jane will hire a new cleaning lady or start cleaning her own house?

  5. Bea from NJ (@sweeetbea on Twitter)March 23, 2011 at 4:42 PM

    HOLY CRAP!! ROH, it was worse then we all imagined!

    She knew about this for months! and she let him keep at it!

    I would've gone Lorena Bobbit on his ass (or balls) LOL

    When's the next dinner party? Bravo is missing out big time on the Housewives of Manatee County! LOL

  6. Saw this on the tweeter & talk about a "Bravo moment!" No chair throwing, table tossing or hosts thrown about the room, though. *sigh* Drunk & weepy not so fun.

    So she knew since around Thanksgiving & didn't say a peep? Didn't want to rock her economic boat perhaps? But his nixing the cruise was hitting home to her? Jeez. Didn't sound like they had all that great of an arrangement, which is what it sounds like rather than marriage.

    If it were me, when I confirmed for myself it was true, I wudda called up some folks with still camera & video equipment, maybe even a sound guy, & busted in like 'to catch a stupid old fucker' & made a documentary out of it. Then debate whether or not to put it on YouTube & consider what it would take for him to keep it out of the public domain.

    No way would I be quiet for 4 months unless I was building a soundproof chamber underneath the house or had some other uh... naughty plans in the works.

    Yikes. Good thing you don't have to see these folks often.

    On the other hand, if you ever have to get him a gift, perhaps one of those peenie pumper uppers? Since his viagra supply is prolly limited (if not cut off entirely) & monitored more closely than old cold war era nukes in the former soviet union.

    Thanks, ROH, for "the rest of the story!" :D

  7. BEA- I think I'll decline any future invitations to their house-LOL

    Need a Hobby- I can't imagine letting that go on for months and not confronting him. Yes, I think they are more in love with their lifestyle than each other. Would never work for me, but to each his own. Every time I see him now I'll be thinking "poor sad limp dick".

  8. She knew about it since Thanksgiving & didnt say a word?! I would have pulled a Lorena Bobbitt within a week of confirmation & would now be sharing a cell with a certain blogger we know.

  9. LOL, Humbruh, I'd be ur cellmate too!

    ROH: damn!! No more accepting their dinner invites! We want more gossip! LOL! Just kidding, I don't blame u 1 bit.

  10. DAMN!!!! How do I miss all the parties!?!?!?!?

    I would of loved to attended that party!! Mr Man would of loved to attend it as well. We would of laughed for hours afterwards.. yep.. we get enjoyment from other peeps misery.. ITS MY FAVORITE PAST TIME!

    Did anyone see Donald Chump on The View today?? lord have mercy..

  11. Humbruh- Can you imagine letting that go on for months? Who has that kind of self control? Oh, and by the way- I get the top bunk.

    Bea- Yes, I don't think we'll be going back to their house. But the food was sure good and they have a great pool- such a pity. LOL

    I'm Just Saying- You and Mr. Man sound like ROM and me- we're still talking about the party.
    No, I missed Trump on The View. I don' think I could stand having both Trump and whiny Elizabeth on my TV screen at the same time

  12. from ImaJillHater2 -

    OMG!!! Too funny! Thanks for the laugh!

  13. This is unbelievable! I wonder how much they were paying the cleaning lady while this went on. If she was paid by the hour, but was F*#%(*g the hubby for one hour, did she deduct this hour from the cost? Would have made good dinner conversation. roflmao, even though hubby is an asshole and it is a sad situation, what a great story it gave you to tell.

  14. Tuzentswurth- It was a dinner party I'll never forget! A couple months after that, we were invited to another party at their house. I declined-LOL


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