In 2002 we ran away from Illinois where we were born and raised, and started a new life in SW Florida. This blog is about me (an eccentric old artist), ROM (my Real Old Man), Isabella (our neurotic Standard Poodle) and Emmy (our crazy snake killing Jack Russell Terrier). Oh- and the neighborhood old people. Life is good in Florida!


Tuesday, March 1, 2011

And The Oscar Goes To....

As I settled on the lanai Sunday night to watch the Academy Awards, one of my elderly neighbors stopped by... and she ended up staying until the end of the show. Without even trying or realizing it, she is so freaking funny. Here's a bit of our conversation as we watched the Oscars being presented...

Tilly- What are you typing?

Me- A tweet.

Tilly- What's a tweet?

Me- A message I send to Twitter

Tilly- Who would  name their child Twitter? That's a horrible thing to name a child

Me- I think her parents were hippies

Tilly- Well, that explains it
Me- You've never heard of Twitter?

Tilly- No, is she famous?

Me- Kind of

Tilly- Never heard of her

Tilly- Oh, doesn't Kirk look good?

Me- No, he looks awful. My gawd those ear lobes! It must be true that our noses and ears keep growing as the rest of our body shrinks.

Tilly- I think he looks good for his age
Me- At his age just breathing is good.

(Poor old Kirk Douglas, as a senior citizen I have to say that isn't inspiring to see these old men with brain damage paraded in public.  It's just depressing. I can't bear to watch Dick Clark on the New Year's Eve show either. It just reminds me another year has passed, increasing my chances of having a stroke which could leaving me with garbled speech like Dick and Kirk. Eww... horrible thought)

Tilly- That pretty young girl reminds me of Audrey Hepburn

Me- Ann Hathaway?  She's the daughter of Audrey's illegitimate daughter who she put up for adoption

Tilly- I had no idea Audrey was a slut!

Me- The studios kept it a secret

Tilly- These young people in show business today sure don't keep things secret. Shameful what some of them are up to!

Tilly- Billy Crystal looks old. How'd that happen? He was such a cute young man. And he's gotten so short

Me- He has always been short

Tilly- Really? I never noticed that before

Tilly- Isn't Bob Hope dead?

Me- Yes. Those are old film clips

Tilly- I miss him

Tilly- Are you still typing to Twitter? Does she type back to you?

Me- Yes she does

Tilly- What are you two talking about?

Me- The show

Tilly- Is she watching it too?

Me- Yes she is.
Tilly- That Fighter movie looks good

Me- It was good. Marky Mark sure has grown up. I remember that movie he did with Burt Reynolds

Tilly- I remember that movie. Do you think that was really his thing they showed at the end of that movie?

Me- You saw Boogie Nights?  I have no idea if that was really Mark's penis

Tilly- Well, I didn't watch it because of him. I watched it because of Burt Reynolds. That Burt is a real stud muffin

Me- Oh Tilly, you naughty girl! Talking about stud muffins

Tilly- *giggles*


  1. Very funny blog, ROH, and to think I was one of the people you were tweeting to LOL! I kinda like Tilly, she's doing pretty good. Tilly likes to hang out with you, & I think I would too. You have a great sense of humor and a kind heart.


  2. Tilly is a hoot. There are so many characters here, it's always entertaining-LOL

  3. Actually Marky Mark's ahem, member, was actually a prosthesis in Boogie Nights. :( Bummer.

  4. ROH you kill me! I'm LMAO just picturing this scene! LOL

  5. Anonymous- I should have known nothing like that existed!

    Bea- I try hard not to laugh when she's chattering, but it's so damn funny.

  6. Just belatedly catching up on some reading. I was laughing out loud at the dialogue. I could just picture it. :D


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