In 2002 we ran away from Illinois where we were born and raised, and started a new life in SW Florida. This blog is about me (an eccentric old artist), ROM (my Real Old Man), Isabella (our neurotic Standard Poodle) and Emmy (our crazy snake killing Jack Russell Terrier). Oh- and the neighborhood old people. Life is good in Florida!

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Thursday, June 30, 2011

I Try To Be Tactful...

The following is today's email exchange between the community manager and myself. I'm so proud that I was tactful in my reply, though I had to add to this entry what I was really wanting to say:

Dear xxxx (community office manager),
   Why is my water off again today? This is such an inconvenience.
When will it be turned back on?
Thank you-
xxxxxxx xxxx
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Dear xx. xxxx,
   We are still replacing and repairing pipes. It was announced at the community morning coffee, posted on clubhouse bulletin board, aired on the community cable station, and all block captains were informed.  The water will be turned back on at 3:00 p.m.
Sincerely,
xxxxxx (community manager)
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Dear xxxx (community manager)
   I'm still capable of making my own coffee in the mornings which for me isn't until after 10 a.m. unlike these crazy old farts that retired just so they could get up at 5 a.m. every day and have coffee together at 7 a.m. at the damn clubhouse and don't attend the lovely morning coffees klatches my wonderful neighbors gather for every morning.

I also didn't see the signs on the bulletin board in the community room of the clubhouse. I've shunned all social gatherings in the community after our first party experience when that drunken old woman with bright red lipstick smeared on her mouth and teeth played the accordion and sang. I had no idea polka music actually had lyrics, and you could have knocked me over with a frigging walker when I realized the majority of people there knew the frigging lyrics and sang along! Due to my husband's work schedule we're unable to attend the social functions held at the clubhouse.

As for the community cable station, Oh sweet jezzuz, you really expect me to sit through 20 minutes of slowly changing pages announcing who attended and won the endless card games at the clubhouse, upcoming luncheons, announcements of bus trips, birthdays, lists of who's in the hospital or has died, inspirational quotes, and announcements for the upcoming schedule of Sit & Exercise (like that will compensate for daily visits to all you can eat buffets) and after all that... finally there's a page of important community notices. It's 2011, sweet jezzuz! Would it kill you to put up a website or blog for important announcements we're so busy we seldom have time to check out the informative community cable station.

Unfortunately I'm so busy I seldom see my block captain are you freaking serious? My block captain is 87 yrs. old and has trouble even going out to get her mail and haven't had a chance to chat with her lately.

Thank you for informing me of when I can expect my water to be turned back on. My damn water better be back on at 3 or I'll be emailing your ass again. I hope I didn't annoy you with my inquiring email.
Thank you for your time,
xxxxx xxxx

5 comments:

  1. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.
    Superb, truly. I think it's so cute that y'all have these social gatherings. You should participate more often - if only just to tell us all the hilarity that ensues ;)

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  2. from ImaJillHater2 -

    ROH, you are one freakin' funny (old) chick! Love your posts!

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  3. Stephen- If you ever attended one of these elder social functions you'd understand why we don't go-LOL

    ImaJillHater2- thank you! I try-LOL

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  4. Freaking hilarious!!!! So glad to read your blogs again! I'm really old too, so I can relate!

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  5. Very funny ROH! I love polka music - especially dancing to it at weddings...west of the Mississippi of course. Aww those were the days. Hmmm...maybe some of these folks used to milk the cows at 5 am while playing polka music! Hahaha that's what one of my uncles used to do. Now if these people had bingo I would definitely want to live there!

    Always enjoy your posts & photos.
    Blue Sky

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