In 2002 we ran away from Illinois where we were born and raised, and started a new life in SW Florida. This blog is about me (an eccentric old artist), ROM (my Real Old Man), Isabella (our neurotic Standard Poodle) and Emmy (our crazy snake killing Jack Russell Terrier). Oh- and the neighborhood old people. Life is good in Florida!


Monday, May 7, 2012

Cinco De Mayo and Not a Taco In Sight...

We went to the downtown Bradenton, FL.  Cinco De Mayo celebration Saturday night. I love downtown Bradenton, such a pretty area. Old Main Street is where something is always going on such as farmers markets and art fairs.

There were quite a few dogs and this one stole my heart-

There was also this amazing large iguana on display by a wildlife rescue organization. For some reason I though iguana's were green but this guy had gorgeous coloring of blue, green, grey, silver and copper. And he was quite patient with my photo taking while keeping a watchful eye on me. ROM kept warning me not to get too close. He used to do volunteer work with a rescue agency and a guy he worked with got a big chunk of his ear torn off by an iguana. This guy might have a fighting chance with Emmy, unlike the little geckos on our lanai. And yes, I know they are really named anoles, but I like the word gecko better. So in my world on my lanai anoles are geckos.

As the sun began to set, more and more people began to fill the street and we could hear the band several streets away. There were lots of food vendors and area restaurants open, but not one single place was offering anything remotely Mexican to eat. There were a few people wearing sombreros- white people looking foolish. But no Mexican food, no Mexican music, and no Mexican people that I saw.

For some reason, there was an appearance of the Crewe of Hernando de Soto.

I would have gotten a lot more beads if I had flashed my tatas. The night's Giant Moon would have paled in comparison to my magnificent womanly orbs, dontcha' know? ROM objected and promised to buy me all the cheap beads I wanted if I kept my clothes on and didn't embarrass him.

I have no idea what connection Bradenton thinks De Soto had with Cinco De Mayo, but I have news for them- there is none. It doesn't seem to matter what the occasion is, they include De Soto and the Crew. De Soto is a big deal here because he landed in Bradenton in 1539. According to Wikipedia:

"In May 1539, de Soto landed nine ships with over 620 men and 220 horses at present-day Shaw's Point, in Bradenton, Florida. He named it Espíritu Santo after the Holy Spirit. The ships brought priests, craftsmen, engineers, farmers, and merchants; some with their families, some from Cuba, most from Europe and Africa. Few had traveled before outside of Spain, or even their home villages."

Cinco De Mayo celebrates the Battle of Puebla when  an out numbered and out armed group of Mexicans soundly beat a well armed French Army-  which took place on May 5, 1862. And it had absolutely nothing to do with De Soto. In fact, De Soto was from Spain, not Mexico, and he died several hundred years before the Battle of Puebla.

Apparently, Cinco De Mayo isn't as big a deal to Mexicans as it is to white Americans- and we don't even know what it is or what we're celebrating. Come on Bradenton event planners-. if you want to have Cinco De Mayo celebrations then at least invite some Mexican food vendors (we have several great Mexican restaurants in town), and how about some Mexican music next year? Perhaps some Mexican arts and crafts booths?  De Soto and his Crew aren't a suitable substitution. When you get ready to start planning next year's Cinco De Mayo, give me a call if you need some ideas. Oh- and if you want to toss beads to women, get a better quality of beads because I ended up with a nasty rash on my chest from wearing those beads you were tossing at us. Yes, there are quite a few things we need to discuss and plan out before the next Cinco De Mayo. Have your people call my people to set up a meeting.

I'll leave you with this video of a young woman celebrating with her hoolahoop...


  1. That hoolahoop girl was having her own party. The lizard thing looked evil.I wouldn't have gotten that close it it but the puppy was cute.

  2. The Hula Hoopa is a traditional Hawaiian Jewish tradition, and definitely not suitable for a Cinco de Drinko celebration.

  3. Anonymous- Yes, I could have easily taken that pup home with me.

    OMG Cyn! I had no idea. How insulting to the Cincos. The De Soto crew should have thrown her and her hulahoop in the brig for her rudeness.


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