As I was watching a 20 year old rerun of Law and Order at 3 a.m Saturday morning, I realized how drastically my life had changed. There was a time I would have just been getting home from a Friday night of partying. But now here I was post menopausal with insomnia and chin hair, living in a 55 and over community where everyone went to bed at 9 p.m. I never dreamed the day would come that I'd find myself on a Friday night (well, actually early Sat. morning) diligently searching, with the aid of an Ott light, reading glasses and a magnifying mirror, for wayward whiskers sprouting out of my gawd damn chin.
After making sure every offensive hair was plucked from my chin, I sat in the dark nibbling on cheese and crackers as I watched yet another old episode of Law and Order and waited for the Ambien to kick in.
ROM and Emmy always go to bed early, but Isabella stays up with me, well kind of... she always sleeps soundly sprawled out on the couch until I turn the TV off, get out of my chair and tell her it's time for bed. But this night she didn't promptly jump up and follow me to the bedroom. I got half way down the hall when I realized she wasn't following. So I went back into the living room and told her to come to bed... no response from her. I called her again... still no response. By then I'm kind of freaking out wondering if she was dead so I flipped the light on and found that I was talking to a toy of Emmy's that she'd left on the couch. Isabella at some point had gone to bed without me. Must have been when I was obsessively searching my chin for the dreaded whiskers.
Sweet jezzuz, I have become fucking Mr. Magoo!