In 2002 we ran away from Illinois where we were born and raised, and started a new life in SW Florida. This blog is about me (an eccentric old artist), ROM (my Real Old Man), Isabella (our neurotic Standard Poodle) and Emmy (our crazy snake killing Jack Russell Terrier). Oh- and the neighborhood old people. Life is good in Florida!

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Wednesday, June 3, 2015

It All Started With A Jeep, Okay?

Why is it that some people can not pick up on body language? I was at a neighbor's the other day when an old guy pulled up in a gorgeous bright yellow Jeep. I made the mistake of telling him I loved his Jeep...

He launched into a monologue about every Jeep he ever owned, what kind of suspensions they had and where he drove them. He was also one of those annoying people who ends every single frigging sentence with "okay".  After the first few minutes I lost all interest in what he was saying. I tried to change the subject but he was on roll and wasn't about to be distracted from his recitation of his vehicle history. His monologue about jeeps continued to flow like diarrhea from a cruise ship tourist with norovirus. I wanted to scream "Shut the hell up, okay!" But I didn't because I'm a nice person, ain't I, Joe? (Yous non-watchers of Real Housewives of New Jersey won't understand that last sentence.)

I tried to be patient while he regurgitated all his knowledge of Jeeps- "okay"? My eyes glazed over, I fidgeted, kept glancing at my neighbor in hopes she'd save me, but she'd checked out of the conversation and was busy pulling weeds. Finally I couldn't take it anymore, "okay"?

I spoke up and told him I knew nothing about Jeep models, suspensions, or engines, but that I did know a thing about colors and I loved his Jeep's shade of yellow. Then I proceeded to start a lecture on the color yellow and explained there are cool yellows and warm yellows. When he started to speak again I talked louder and over him as I rattled off examples of cool yellows and warm yellows. Then I gave him a big smile, told him it was nice chatting but I had to get back home, "okay"? 

And now I hate Jeeps. Okay? 



2 comments:

  1. Dang, you are CLEVER, woman! I'm writing that down in my notes.

    Note to self: When annoying asshole won't shut up about a boring subject, launch into your own annoying subject and give up NO GROUND until he/she concedes.

    Brilliant. We should send you to negotiate the nuclear treaty with Iran. =D

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