In 2002 we ran away from Illinois where we were born and raised, and started a new life in SW Florida. This blog is about me (an eccentric old artist), ROM (my Real Old Man), Isabella (our neurotic Standard Poodle) and Emmy (our crazy snake killing Jack Russell Terrier). Oh- and the neighborhood old people. Life is good in Florida!


Saturday, June 6, 2015

You Copulate and Then You Die...

It was a rainy gloomy Saturday for those of us living on the Suncoast of the Sunshine State -oh, the irony. After it stopped raining I walked around the yard taking pictures, then parked my ass at my desk looking out on the front yard. I don't know if it was because of the earlier rain or what, but there was a lot of nature drama going on outside my window. 

After the rain... 

I was strolling through my Twitter timeline and happened to glance up to see several catbirds swarming and bombarding a hawk.  I'm guessing the catbirds must have a nest close by and were protecting their territory. Have to say I enjoyed watching the smaller birds hold their own with a predator, kind of like watching a Twitter troll get handed their ass when they pick on the wrong person. 

The next thing I noticed when I looked out the window were two flirting geckos on my yard light pole. The females have a white strip down their backs so it's easy to tell which gender they are.  The female was acting quite brazen- stretching out her full length with her ass in his face. He seemed to be in no hurry, occasionally inflating his bright orange double chin (I dunno what that orange sac thingie they inflate is called or if it has any correlation to the size of their penis, but he sure seemed proud of it ) as she waited patiently for him to get his freak on.  After a couple false starts he finally engaged and just as he finished...  a crow swooped down and flew away with the poor little gecko dude hanging limply in it's beak. Damn, talk about the circle of life.  It was a bit disturbing watching the gecko dude go from experiencing one of the greatest pleasures of life to experiencing life's final and most dreaded event. 

I was relieved the female got away until I noticed she was back on the light pole and had attracted yet another mate. Good lord, what a heartless slut! I'd be damned if I'd watch another gecko forfeit his life fertilizing the eggs of this insatiable floozy. So I went outside and yelled at the birds hanging around and chased the geckos deep into the bouganvillia. As soon as I got back to my desk, the geckos reappeared on the light post. So back out I went, only for them to reappear on the light pole as soon as I returned to my desk. This went on several times and the last time Emmy followed me out. When we came back in she jumped up on the ottoman and spit out a mangled little tree frog. Jezzuz, I was living in my own up close and personal horror show! Sex, violence and death all around me! 

After ROM cleaned up the frog corpse, he suggested we go shopping as a distraction from the copulating geckos, killer crows and Emmy the Barbarian. I'll tell you the shopping story in a couple days... but when we got home the gecko prostitution whore was on the light pole with yet another little dude. We're going to need Maury Povish to run some DNA tests to determine who fertilized this slut's eggs. 

Taken thru my window- note the slutty gecko circled
in yellow.

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