tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-52508423361569229352024-03-06T01:42:55.817-05:00I See Old PeopleReal(ly) Old Housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00466942428226914283noreply@blogger.comBlogger20125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250842336156922935.post-87654271187991810572020-02-03T19:49:00.000-05:002020-02-03T19:49:06.432-05:00What A Difference A Day Makes...So, we now have a rough patch behind us and today has been a good day. The weekend nurse warned me the new meds may take a few days to kick in completely but after my second dose, I already feel an improvement. Perhaps it's psychological, but whatever the reason, I'm going to ride with it. This past weekend was a learning experience and I think we needed it. Our Midwest roots ingrained in us the Real(ly) Old Housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00466942428226914283noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250842336156922935.post-36776919828006106772020-02-02T22:39:00.000-05:002020-02-02T22:39:29.108-05:00Oxygen, Pain Meds, and Yogurt- Our Super Bowl Party! In the wee morning hours of Sunday, I realized I had caught Mike's cold. So to go along with the burning pain in my mouth and throat from the fungal thrush caused by my steroid inhaler, I now had a nasty cough and tightness in my chest. The cough is so jarring against my spine, and my pain meds just weren't doing enough. Throw in that my breathing has gotten more labored, well, you get the Real(ly) Old Housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00466942428226914283noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250842336156922935.post-16795023207111620542020-02-01T13:41:00.001-05:002020-02-01T14:44:28.142-05:00Time...
12:30 PM
Saturday, February 1, 2020 (EST)
Time in Bayshore Gardens, FL
When you are given a few days to a few months to live, time takes on an entirely new importance. When I saw today's time banner, I felt a wave of anxiety crash down on top of me. I thought I had accepted my diagnosis, but what I was feeling was not acceptance. I felt panic- January was gone. How much time was Real(ly) Old Housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00466942428226914283noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250842336156922935.post-56794635421512194012020-01-31T16:11:00.001-05:002020-01-31T16:11:36.892-05:00Today...
So what is a typical day under hospice care like? I know it's different for different people, and will change as time goes on. But this what it's like today for Mike and me...
I spend most of the night up and down out of my nest, taking frequent cat naps as I watch TV (I have a new appreciation for the brilliant shows now available on streaming devices). By six this morning I was ready to Real(ly) Old Housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00466942428226914283noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250842336156922935.post-88067171100612303162020-01-31T00:16:00.000-05:002020-01-31T00:16:03.032-05:00It's not all flowers and joyful moments... I got an email today from a friend suggesting that I not candy coat this dying stuff and make it pretty romance. I agreed, she's right. There's a lot wrong with dying of cancer. But there is a romance element playing out that I didn't expect. I've always loved my husband and thought he was amazing. I think I took it for granted and stopped noticing how special he is. Now I'm seeing him with new Real(ly) Old Housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00466942428226914283noreply@blogger.com9tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250842336156922935.post-77857226953071756522020-01-30T08:27:00.001-05:002020-01-30T08:27:21.664-05:00I Shall Dream of Gerbera Daisies and White Orchids...
One afternoon this week as I was settling in for a cat nap, Mike asked me if I needed anything. I told him I was fine and would dream of colorful Gerbera daisies and white orchids- my favorite flowers. Whether I dreamt about them or not, I don't remember.
But when I got up and wandered to my desk, I stopped in shock when I saw a pot of brilliant orange Gerbera flowers and elegant white Real(ly) Old Housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00466942428226914283noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250842336156922935.post-39385021371525232020-01-29T01:22:00.001-05:002020-01-29T01:22:11.107-05:00Putting My Hand Into Tidewell's... Sunday we had a visit from Tidewell Hospice representative to officially sign up for their services. I placed my life under their care and trust they will guide and assist me on this final adventure. It's a big step to take for someone like me who has always valued their independence. I like being in charge of me. And I have been very good at it until now. I'm now out of my depth and need their Real(ly) Old Housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00466942428226914283noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250842336156922935.post-53744839677090747742020-01-26T21:15:00.000-05:002020-01-26T21:16:54.005-05:00Can We Talk?Friday morning as I got ready for the appointment with my oncologist, I felt a sense of dread building in the pit of my stomach. We had only met once last week, and I felt I had failed to explain to her what my expectations were and what I needed from her. So I spent sometime organizing my thoughts and clarifying in my own mind what I wanted to share with her. I felt it was important we both be Real(ly) Old Housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00466942428226914283noreply@blogger.com14tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250842336156922935.post-92212558392586870032020-01-24T18:42:00.000-05:002020-01-24T18:42:41.858-05:00The Gift Of Time...Cancer is a ruthless disease, taking too many people too early in their lives, shatters families, and causes so much suffering. But then all diseases do. I'm not going to tell you there is anything good about cancer, that would be utter bullshit. But when I was diagnosed I realized I had a choice in how I use the knowledge that I am dying soon. I had time to spend with people I care about, share Real(ly) Old Housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00466942428226914283noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250842336156922935.post-32229932535637737902020-01-24T16:20:00.003-05:002020-01-24T16:20:57.856-05:00Catching Up...So much has happened since I posted earlier this week. The past two nights after Mike was in bed and the dogs were settled for the night, I sat down with my laptop and prepared to blog... only to find that the internet was down- something about maintenance. And then my cable went out, too. Funny how I can cope and keep my composure as I navigate my way through dying, but something like not Real(ly) Old Housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00466942428226914283noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250842336156922935.post-77016818718344374742020-01-21T22:41:00.001-05:002020-01-21T22:41:07.799-05:00Feels Like A Goodbye Tour, Biopsy Report, PrognosisI had an appointment today with Dr. Burke, my pulmonary doctor. It was cold and windy today and I could have happily stayed home in my pjs and warm slippers. Just going out has become a chore. The less I move, the less I'm in pain. The more I move, the less the pain med works. I try to time taking them to close to the time I'm going to have to do something. This morning I timed it so that I Real(ly) Old Housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00466942428226914283noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250842336156922935.post-27531775682759706732020-01-19T03:26:00.001-05:002020-01-19T14:20:53.081-05:00Day Of Reckoning...My first appointment with an oncologist, Dr. Ana Vanderwall, was Friday morning. Though I needed and wanted to know what I was facing, I was also dreading it. I haven't had the opportunity to actually sit down face to face and discuss anything with my primary care and pulmonary doctor after they called me with the grim results of various scans they each had done. Of course they both offered to Real(ly) Old Housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00466942428226914283noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250842336156922935.post-24872317870411385302020-01-16T17:21:00.002-05:002020-01-16T17:21:56.318-05:00A Familiar Face, Forms and Living Wills...
I had an appointment yesterday with my cardiologist- finally a familiar face. After a month of dealing with new doctors and radiology staff at three different centers, it was good to sit down face to face with a doctor I knew and trusted. He even had good news from my recent heart echo- my heart has actually gotten a bit stronger and the valve leakage has improved. He was very generous with Real(ly) Old Housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00466942428226914283noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250842336156922935.post-28829412750605587332020-01-14T17:10:00.001-05:002020-01-14T17:10:54.907-05:00Back On The Conveyor Belt...Called Dr. Burke's office and talked to Diane, she said the biopsy results weren't in yet. She also said the doctor was referring me to an oncologist. I asked her if the oncologist would do something for the intense pain I'm having. She said "probably" and "but there's only so much they can do"and "maybe they can give you chemo that will make the pain better"... which wasn't the least bit Real(ly) Old Housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00466942428226914283noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250842336156922935.post-87761457671906705142020-01-12T13:43:00.001-05:002020-01-12T13:43:36.421-05:00All Things Come To Those Who Wait......so goes an original old proverb. Some overly optimistic person later changed it to "all good things come to those who wait", which we know is utter nonsense. Not that I've ever been what you would consider a pessimist, I am a realist. I've seen too many good people wait for good things to come in vain. The original version is reality. You wait long enough, things come along, but not always Real(ly) Old Housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00466942428226914283noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250842336156922935.post-11713428078620542612020-01-11T14:00:00.001-05:002020-01-11T14:00:16.130-05:00Now I Wait...When I showed up yesterday morning at Manatee Memorial Hospital for the biopsy, I was told plans had been changed. The doctor performing the procedure decided not to biopsy the lesions on my spine and felt he could get the samples needed from the nodes in my neck. I was a bit apprehensive when I heard one of the techs say the nodes to be biopsied were right over my jugular vein. But after some Real(ly) Old Housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00466942428226914283noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250842336156922935.post-46295454854033810222020-01-08T21:44:00.001-05:002020-01-15T19:03:36.458-05:00TimelineThis is for my own benefit to keep some kind of a timeline and dates of appointments and tests. I'll update it periodically as needed.
11/19/19- Saw Dr. Lopez for sinus infection and swelling in my neck. Put me on antibiotics and doubled my BP med.
12/5/19- saw Lopez for recheck of blood pressure. Discussed that it's still up and my insomnia. Just before she left the room I called her attentionReal(ly) Old Housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00466942428226914283noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250842336156922935.post-18763898071494066712020-01-08T21:38:00.001-05:002020-01-08T21:38:14.030-05:00On To The Big Day...I spent the morning at Manatee Memorial Hospital for the prep stuff for the biopsy- filled out forms (why can't doctors and hospitals use the same history forms so we can fill out one, make copies and take them with us to each new doctor and medical facility?), had vitals taken, blood sample collected and gave them my scan Cd's and report from Dr. Burke, my pulmonary doctor. I'm now good to go...Real(ly) Old Housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00466942428226914283noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250842336156922935.post-88835196500524554422020-01-06T19:00:00.001-05:002020-01-07T10:42:55.659-05:00The Final Act, The Last Chapter, The End?Much has happened since my last post and life has drastically changed. So much, in fact, I debated over deleting this one and starting a new one to talk about our new reality, which is so different from the life I talked about previously... I still haven't decided but wanted to get some thoughts down now while they're buzzing around in my head. So to catch up from then to now, I'll try to Real(ly) Old Housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00466942428226914283noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5250842336156922935.post-52246231740468211352017-10-24T22:24:00.000-04:002017-10-24T22:36:51.427-04:00My Dog Is The Neighborhood Bully...It's been awhile since I blogged anything. I've started writing several entries, but they always turned out to be too long and I lost interest before I finished them. The latest one was about our nightmare evacuation when we headed north with Irma on our tail. After two hours of writing, and not even halfway done, I deleted it. I've found the longer I go without blogging the harder it is to get Real(ly) Old Housewifehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00466942428226914283noreply@blogger.com1