In 2002 we ran away from Illinois where we were born and raised, and started a new life in SW Florida. This blog is about me (an eccentric old artist), ROM (my Real Old Man), Isabella (our neurotic Standard Poodle) and Emmy (our crazy snake killing Jack Russell Terrier). Oh- and the neighborhood old people. Life is good in Florida!


Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Phone Sex, Cookies and Sexting

I've been obsessed with the Jodi Arias trial the past few weeks. Listening to the phone sex Jodi recorded made me realize Real Old Man and I  have never had phone sex. I tried to rectify that the other day when I emailed ROM at work. We exchanged a number of emails and here is what was said:

Me: Wanna have phone sex?

ROM: Can't. I'm in a meeting. Too bad we don't know how to text. We could have text sex.

Me: It's called sexting, you goof.

ROM: What's email sex called?

Me: I dunno but I'm out of the mood now. I'm going to make some coffee and finish off the cookies.

ROM: You're a cruel tease. Taunting me with sex and cookies. Don't you dare eat all the cookies!

Me: Ha! Who gonna check me, boo? Sorry, but Bertha is out of control and is going to eat all of Walter's cookies. Get back to your meeting, you slacker!

ROM: Are you really going to eat all the cookies?

Me: Don't worry about the cookies. Hey, can I take nude photos of you in the shower tonight? Don't worry about the gun and knife I'll be holding- those are just for protection in case ninjas break in.

ROM: You might as well kill me if you're going to eat all the cookies. Life won't be worth living.

Me: Okay you big baby, I won't eat all the damn cookies. Get back to work....

And in case y'all are wondering- I didn't eat ROM's cookies.